Scott Stewart

Off topic – Why I hate ordering Sandwiches From Subway

OK, this is a bit off topic and pretty random, but for what its worth, I really hate ordering sandwiches for a group of people from Subway. My frustration usually begins around the time an eager clerk first asks, “what kind of roll(s) do you want”.

Generally when I draw the shortest straw and end up being the runner for sandwiches, the process begins by me asking everybody what they want. I end up with a list that might look something like this:

• John: 12” Turkey, with cheese, mayo, lettuce and tomato, on a white roll
• Bill: 6” Ham, no cheese, Italian dressing, all veggies on an Italian roll
• Jill: 6” Turkey, cheese, on a Parmesan Italian roll, no dressing, lettuce, tomato, olives
• Sally: 6” Italian Mix, cheese Italian dressing, all veggies on a Wheat roll
• me: 12” Chicken Teriyaki, Italian roll, sweet onion dressing, all veggies (except hot peppers)

So, I walk up to the counter with my list in hand, and the clerk says “What kind of rolls can I get you?” Do you see the problem yet? Am I the only person in the world that thinks this is just plain wrong, or at least difficult from the customer’s perspective? Sure, it makes sense from the perspective of the Subway clerks to work in an assembly line like fashion, first get the rolls, then the cheese (where needed) then the meats, then the veggies, dressing, etc. But shouldn’t that translation from what I want to what they need be their problem, and not mine as a customer.

When I am placing my order I’m thinking what kind of subs I want for each person. I’m not thinking that I need 2 - 6” Italian rolls, 1 - 12” Italian roll, 1 - 6” Wheat roll and 1 – 12” White roll. Besides, do I say 2 – 6” Italian rolls and 1 – 12” Italian roll, or when I’m at the roll ordering point, do I just say 2 – 12” Italian rolls, and then straighten out the finer detail that one of those 12”ers is really 2 – 6” separate sandwiches when we get to the topping questions.

The problem only gets worse after we deal with the rolls. Because then the next question is “ do any of these have cheese”. Well, lets see, looking at my list, the 12” Turkey has cheese, so there is one yes to for cheese on the 12” white. The 6” Ham has no cheese, the 6” Turkey has cheese, so yes to cheese on one of the 6” Italian rolls, but not the other (we’ll need to make sure I keep track of which is which later on when I’m asked the meat questions.) The 6” Italian mix has cheese so, yes to cheese on the 6” wheat roll. The Chicken Teriyaki has no cheese, so no to cheese on the 12” Italian roll.

Now onto more fun, the meats. The clerk (sometimes the next clerk in the assembly line depending on how busy they are) asks, "what kind of meats do you want on these." Well let’s see: I need a 12” Turkey on white with cheese, so if you have a 12” White with cheese there, then that is the Turkey. I need a 6” Ham on an Italian roll without cheese, so if you have a 6” Italian roll without cheese, then that one is going to be a Ham. I need a 6” Turkey with cheese on an Itailian roll, so if you have an Italian roll there with cheese on it, then make that the Turkey… and so on and so on.

Why, oh why, can’t I just tell you what I want and be done with it. Maybe the first clerk could punch my order into a program that then sorts and orders each of the individual sandwich components for each of the individual assembly line clerks. Or maybe you can just be old fashion and write my order down, and then determine for yourself the quantities of each of the individual components.

Subway, if you don’t have a sandwich order component sorter program, I would be happy to write one for you. Just email me at scottpstewart@NOSPAM_hotmail.com. I would be happy to help you out in return for a lifetime supply of sandwiches. ;-)

Jarred, does it need to be this tough for a customer to simply order a few sandwiches?